Yes, we co-slept. When Soren was roughly 8 months he moved to his crib and at his first nightly nosh he stays with us - most nights until morning (when he seems restless, Rick puts him back to bed - we need a bigger bed...). And yes, I loved and still love it. Yes - it is challenging, but in the best ways. No - I NEVER came remotely close to crushing him, because here are a few things I did and DID NOT do while co-sleeping:
1. I didn't drink before bed (nor did I drink much at all while nursing until Soren was about 5-6 months. One very small glass of wine or even half a beer - my son's health is more important...)
2. We stripped the bed of everything but the necessary sheets.
3. I slept in the traditional, natural, instinctual position - on my side with my arm at an angle above my head, my legs curled up and my other arm around him. This is a natural protective instinct for mom. Crazy how that happens?!
4. My partner (Rick) NEVER consumed alcohol before bed.
5. Here's a biggie - I am breastfeeding. And I use the present because we still are at almost 16 months. This allows baby to wake up periodically - not keeping him satiating for unnaturally long periods of time thus preventing SIDS which startles mom for his feeding. You rarely ever fall into REM sleep, which could make harming yourself or baby more of a risk when getting up to retrieve them from an independent sleeping space.
So there are a few things we really thought out before we made this decision. Which, by the way - was not made until after we were home from the hospital. We more or less fell into it. Soren was a nurse 45 minutes, sleep 20 minutes type of newborn and I wasn't getting ANY sleep. This way - I was able to get some rest, my nipples started healing (sorry if that's TMI, but shoot - it happens...nipples chap people), my milk production leveled out so the engorging would STOP and Soren and I have an amazing relationship. I truly feel as if I have a sixth sense about him. More than that --
Rick does too. This wasn't just for me, and the links that Rick sent me that resulted in this post go to show how much it means to him. I still catch him waking up at night to listen for Soren, bringing our babe into the bed to cuddle if it seems like he is having a hard time sleeping. This dad gets it. You should really see it for yourselves.
This is a father that isn't afraid of doing anything with his son - alone. I have to say, it is most endearing when you hear from other people how impressed they are with his confidence about handling his baby, especially - alone. Why? I guess to me it's obvious - but in today's society, I don't think it is. Co-sleeping has made Rick's sixth sense stronger. I do really believe that this necessary step in our attached parenting really paid off - for us both.
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| soren facetime-ing with his pop from the lou::these two totally get each other |
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| a perfect pair |
1. Mayim Bilalik's Book Beyond the Sling
2. Mayim Bilalik's ABC interview (if you are anything like me, you will end up screaming at the screen - awful anchors...awful)
With the internet and an open line of communication between yourself and your partner - everyone is capable of making decisions that are right for their families. Don't be afraid just because it might seem taboo. It's ok, it's actually recommended you nurse and for at least up to 2 years - not just for baby, but for yourself. It's ok to co-sleep, just be sure to take necessary pre-cautions. It's also ok for your baby to sleep independently if that is right for you - again though, be sure to take the necessary pre-cautions. They exist for that situation as well. My apologies if this seems slanted, but let's face it - it is. I have received more criticisms, furrowed brows and judgements for our natural birth, nursing, co-sleeping and wearing to put me on the defense...
But when it comes down to it - parenting is a blast, on any path you choose. They are precious and really do rely on us as parents to make their decisions for quite some time. Let us all do the best we can in that moment for our babes - they are looking to us for just that.
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| newborn-15 months::still nursing, still cuddling |
1 comment:
Very well put Chelsea. If parents choose to co-sleep they shouldn't be wary of hiding it and parents who choose NOT to co-sleep shouldn't either. Some parents choose to make co-sleeping a part of their children's lives, while others choose not to make it a practice at all and still others may do it once in awhile (like we did). Whatever the choices are, both parents being on board with that decision is paramount in order for it to work successfully. Whatever the choice, it is true, that it is a personal preference and choice. While there are special bonding benefits to co-sleeping, there are also many other bonding opportunities for parents who choose not to co-sleep. Here's to parenting! The only job I know of that doesn't come with a manual. A job that doesn't require a BA, MBA or PHD in order to be a successful parent - and you usually don't get a grade. However, while you'll never earn a grade or degree in "Parenthood", much later, after your children are grown, you'll realize all those years in "Parenthood" school paid off - when you see them making their way in the world. So I say...if co-sleeping is for you and it's working for all parties involved...continue, continue. Love xo
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