An Attached Parent:

An attached parent - I am sure some of you are wondering what on earth I could be talking about, we are all attached, aren't we - to our children that is?

Well, the answer is yes, but, I don't want to say 'to different extremes', but maybe just in different ways.  Some in theory, some in DNA, some in styles of parenting - which this happens to be, a style of parenting.

Before Soren was born we had a few things that were absolutely certain - we had a natural birth plan that most certainly made room for emergency cesareans and such, we were going to nurse no matter how difficult it may be, and we absolutely were NOT going to let him cry himself to sleep.  Through our breastfeeding research we came to find a large amount of information on attachment parenting, which is just that.  We wear Soren to this day, straying away from the stroller; he is still nursing at least morning and night, we do NOT let him cry himself to sleep, I made his baby food and monitor closely what he eats to be sure he gets a well balanced diet...well, I am sure that you get the idea.

In attachment parenting these are all methods to ensure that Soren grows to be trusting and aware of his surroundings   He trusts that Rick and I will be there when he needs us - and that includes when he is in his crib, but aware of what is going on around him.  He receives specific nutrition requirements from breastfeeding and develops a bond with me and Rick (through me, Rick doesn't breastfeed...haha - nudge, nudge) that he can trust us and communicate - along with his signs - which he now adorably knows: more, please, all done (finished), milk, and mom's milk (he points to my chest and either says 'milk' or 'please' - I love it!).  We have avoided I don't know how many tantrums with just these!

So this brings me to blogging for the day.  So, in my search for ways to be an even more patient Attachment Parent, I was on the sight and ran into this -

Which is the other part of attachment parenting - co-sleeping.  And YES!  I think Rick and I have found ourselves in all of these positions but the Donkey Kong.  Our little sleeper is quite the roamer, but it is humor like this that reassures me that we are the right track and that most of all - we are not alone.  I can't even begin to describe all the furrowed brows, judging glances and disgusted faces that scream 'Your still nursing him?!!!' or 'don't you know co-sleeping, is SO dangerous ?!!! (only if you are unaware and don't properly research OR don't nurse...) OR, and this one has to be my absolute favorite - 'you really should let him cry himself to sleep.  You're spoiling him and he's manipulating you!'.  Yes, I am not kidding - that has been said to me, on more than one occasion and by more than one person.  

Manipulating me?!  Really?!  He still has a fontanel goodness sakes!  I mean really - and if you don't know what that is -  a child is born with two principle ones.  On the top and in the back of the head.  They are also called soft spots and they don't officially disappear on you until almost two.  So - sorry if it is difficult for me to understand that a child with two, TWO soft spots, indicating how much of there body isn't even done developing - including the brain, is being manipulative.  This is a being that solely relies on it's parents to take care of it.  And in my case, Soren taught us what, when and how he needed to be held, nursed and cared for, and thank goodness for that.

However anyone decides to parent, one thing is for sure - they are precious and time is fleeting.  Soren has taught me more than just how to take care of him, he's taught me how boundless my love can be and how much more I have yet to learn.

Soren P.

Pin It